I'd like to preface this story by saying that I don't think ALL people who drive motorcycles are lunatic ass clowns who do stupid things which inevitably cause them to scramble their brains on the side of the road somewhere, but a large number of them are. Case in point:
I'm driving home tonight and there are two motorcycles behind me. They both move over into the right lane and proceed to play a game of catch-me-if-you-can with each other. On one bike is a guy and girl, the other, just a dude. So the single rider decides to start swerving his bike left and right, left and right, which, as it would any level headed defensive driver, makes me nervous. So I slow down and let them act like fools far ahead of me. We end up next to each other a stop light. When the light turns green, they gun it, I sit and wait a moment, then proceed.
The single rider starts doing tricks like he's Evel Knievel and gets himself into a side-saddle position with both legs hanging off the left side of the motorcycle. Well, as anyone could have predicted, he loses his balance (because he is NOT Evel Knievel) and careens suddenly, though not unexpectedly, into my lane. Luckily for him, I'd fallen behind after the light or I would have smashed right into the moron. And yeah, lucky for HIM because if I would have hit him I wouldn't have felt bad at all about it. He would have deserved it.
Anyway, he ends up on the opposite side of the street in the path of oncoming traffic. He tries to cut back over into my lane (again, if I had hit him I probably would have been doing him and everyone else in the world a favor)but he cuts too sharply and ends up doing a half circle loop kind of thing until he rams right into the sidewalk where he is thrown from his bike and lands on the pavement, his bike nearly on top of him. Ha, ha and ha! Don't worry; he was up and on his feet before I even had the chance to glance in my rear view.
I don't care how mean it might sound, but if you drive like an a-hole you deserve a helmet full of grey matter. I bet this douchelord ends up breeding too and passing on his stupid genes. The last thing the world needs is one more dolt running around.
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On more than one occasion, I have felt the need to keep a paintball gun on my passenger seat. That way, when someone does something stupid like cut me off or almost side swipe me, I can scare the shit out of them immediately after said stupid act and mark them as idiots out on the road. At present, there are no consequences for terrible driving unless some cop happens to take notice which, let's face it, never happens. If I was a decent shot and wouldn't face jail time, I would carry a gun and shoot out all the tires and/or windows of any jackass on the road. Someone has to set some ground rules. No one has to be physically injured but they need to think twice before getting behind the wheel (or jumping on their motobike o' death).
ReplyDeleteHahaha! I agree with you. Not much difference between motorcycle douche's here in OZ or those in the States. They have a strange sense of road entitlement much like cyclist MAMALS (middle aged men in lycra) eeek
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