Shiny Happy Fits of Rage

With Valentine's Day swiftly approaching, breathing down the back of my neck with its hot, rancid chocolate breath, I feel now would be an apt time to express my own thoughts on the subject of love and relationships.

Here's what I think; love is an imperfect, complicated emotion that people insist on placing unrealistic expectations on. Love is rarely unselfish, kind or patient. Love is a messy, gruesome horror show of chemicals and endorphins that make people crazy. Why would you pair that up with confections and flowers?

The point is, Valentine's Day is a symptom of dysfunction of romantic love. We've become automatons even in love! Hallmark has decided that on this one specific day, you are supposed to express(prove) your love with thoughtful (expensive) gifts and romantic surprises. However, nothing about this day is spontaneous or romantic. Wouldn't it mean more to do something "special" on a random Tuesday in June?
And let's talk about "Love" for a minute here. I've had my heart incinerated just like everyone else. I've been in the trenches and I have to say, WTF? I look around me and I know maybe four couples who are genuinely happy. The rest are miserable. What's worse is that they refuse to do anything about it! There are far worse things in life than being alone, I promise you that. So you don't get the cliche dozen roses or the unimaginative V-day surprise, you'll live. I guarantee the sun will rise anyway. And maybe, just maybe, if you stop selling yourself short, you'll find someone better suited for you. You may even find your "soul mate," or whatever cosmic crap notion "They" decide to shove down our throats next.

Whatever, so we observe a day with an origin no one can even agree on. But hey, nothing says romance like a Roman priest being viciously beaten and decapitated for marrying lovers in secret. I don't know why I'm surprised. We celebrate the slaughter of the Native Americans and call it Thanksgiving. What goes better with genocide than turkey and stuffing?

And yes, I did just compare Valentine's Day to the annihilation of an entire people. Think about it.